


nothing lasts forever

by cherry_topaz



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Bisexual Veronica Lodge, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Cheryl Blossom, Single Toni Topaz, Soft Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, choni
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherry_topaz/pseuds/cherry_topaz
Summary: After Toni and Cheryl's breakup, Toni begins spiraling down. Who will be able to guide her towards the right path now that Cheryl is gone.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Cheryl Blossom, Cheryl Blossom/Kevin Keller, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Veronica Lodge/Toni Topaz
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	1. soft moments

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I don't own any of these characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really soft😭it shows a few moments of them together before the break up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Adrenaline coursed thru her veins. The red head glanced back, noticing a shadow in the distance. "Give it up!" she yelled. "You can't catch me." She felt the cool air blow against her skin as she begin to pick up speed. 

"Cher slow down!" Toni cried out, following her, both leaving their wet foot prints behind in the sand. Cheryl stopped in her tracks as she felt the water brush upon her toes. 

Her eyes lowered, staring at the ground beneath her. Cheryl's steps grew closer to the ocean. The sensation from the waves washing over her body gave her a sense of peace.

She looked to the night sky, and begin to count the stars. Her eyes returning to the waves in front, she watched as they begin to come closer to where she was.

Cheryl's breath became more relaxed. As she stood there admiring the way the water fell upon her feet, she felt something pull her back. 

Her eyes quickly turned as Toni pulled onto her shoulders, causing them both to fall onto the sand. Cheryl landed on top of her, causing a laugh to escape from Toni's mouth. 

"Ugh Toni!" she begin hitting her fists into Toni's chest. Toni giggled at the feeling of Cheryl's soft punches. "I told you I would get you." Toni's smile formed into a smirk. 

Cheryl stared at her girlfriend with love in her eyes. She leaned over to place a soft kiss upon Toni's lips. "I love you." Toni said gazing into Cheryl's hazel eyes. The red head felt a warm sensation flow thru her body.

"I love you so much." she replied. Toni felt the warmth of her cheeks as she begin to blush. Her eyes flickered from Cheryl's red stained lips to her eyes, then back down. She caressed Cheryl's chin, pulling her into another kiss. 

Cheryl pushed her tongue thru Toni's soft parted lips. Toni wrapped her arms around Cheryl's neck, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened. 

A moan was released from Toni's mouth as her tongue made contact with Cheryl's. The red head lifted, pulling away from the kiss. "Cher. What's wrong?" Toni sat up with a concerned look upon her face.

She watched as tears fell from Cheryl's eyes. "It's just-" Cheryl started to say while facing the water. "Did I do something wrong?" Toni asked. 

"No." the red head replied. "It's just you make me so happy." she said. "And I don't know what I've done to deserve someone as special as you." 

A smile formed upon Toni's face, and she giggled as she wrapped her arm around Cheryl's body. "You make me happy too babe, but why are you crying?" "Because T.T, I don't want to mess this up." Cheryl said lifting her head to stare into Toni's eyes. 

Toni could see the fear and worry behind her eyes. "Cheryl. We have been together for a year and 4 months now. And everyday I find something new to love about you." Cheryl's heart begin to race at the sound of Toni's soft voice.

"There is nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you." "Really?" she asked. "Yes. You mean everything to me." she replied with a loving smile. 

Toni scooted closer to Cheryl as she used the palm of her hand to wipe away her tears."You are all I have ever wanted." Cheryl said gazing into her eyes. "Yea. I know." Toni smirked.

Cheryl nudged her shoulder then the corners of her lips turned upwards into a smile. Toni rubbed Cheryl's back, as they listened to the sound of the waves gently brush over the sand. She placed her head in the crook of Toni's neck.

Toni could feel the warmth of Cheryl's breath upon her skin. When they are with each other it feels like time has stopped. Like nothing else matters besides the moments that they share together. 

The next morning

Toni woke up from her slumber and glanced over to Cheryl who was still sound asleep. She smiled and pulled a strand of Cheryl's hair behind her ear. 

She pressed her soft lips against the red head's hair line then removed the blanket from her body. Toni was about to lift up when she felt something pull her back. 

Her eyes looked down to see Cheryl's hand holding her onto. Toni laughed in respond. "I thought you were asleep baby." "I was." Cheryl uttered out in a raspy voice. 

"Then I felt you leaving." Toni stroked her hand against the red head's face. "Cher. I'm not leaving, I just have to pee." the pink haired girl laughed. "Well okay." Cheryl replied as she pouted and gave Toni puppy dog eyes. 

"After I use the bathroom, I promise we can just stay in bed all day. " It was Sunday and the two of them didn't have any plans. A smile appeared upon Cheryl's face as she let go of Toni's wrist. 

Toni climbed out of bed and used the bathroom. Cheryl rested her head in the palm of her hand while she waited. After a few minutes Toni came out then got back in bed.

She pulled Cheryl close to her and wrapped her arm around her. Cheryl then wrapped her arms around Toni's waist and rested her head upon her chest. 

Toni planted a soft kiss onto her forehead. As they cuddled, they listened to the sound of each other's heart beat.   
  


"What do you love about me?" the red head asked, breaking the silence. Toni eyes gazed down into Cheryl's. "Everything." she replied. "Like what?" 

"I love how vulnerable you are with me." "You put on this front for everyone else like you are cold hearted, and in capable of love but with me your the opposite." 

"That's not true." Cheryl giggled. "It is." Toni said. "You have shown me so many different parts of yourself that no one else has ever seen before. And I guess that just makes me feel really special." 

"You are T.T." Toni placed a soft kiss upon Cheryl's red stained lips. "So what about me?" Toni asked while sighing. "What about you?" Toni lifted her head and raised her eyebrow at Cheryl.

The red head laughed then took a deep breath. "I love your big heart." Toni looked confused at Cheryl's answer. "You love me so effortlessly. No matter how bad I piss you off." Toni chuckled.

"At the end of the day, you always love me. And I don't think I could ever stop loving you." "You make me feel on top of the world T.T, and I don't ever want to come down." 

Tears begin to fall from Toni's eyes. "Awwn T.T" Cheryl lifted her head. She used her hand to wipe away the tears from Toni's face. "Don't cry." Cheryl said gazing into her eyes. "It's just..you make me so happy. Cher." Toni smiled while sniffling.

Cheryl felt the warmth of her cheeks as she begin to blush. She leaned forward and delicately placed a soft kiss onto Toni's lips. The couple spent the rest of the day cuddled up in bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start off by saying I am a huge choni fan😭. I wanted to make this bc I was thinking back to the episode where they broke up (3x16) and I wondered how would it be if things went differently.


	2. the night at la bonne nuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own any of these characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i lied, this chapter leads up to their break up which will actually be in the next one😭i dont wanna make this one too long

As weeks went by Cheryl and Toni's relationship begin to become weaker. Toni spent many nights working late at La Bonne Nuit, and when she wasn't working she was spending all of her time with the Pretty Poisons. 

Cheryl resented Toni for wanting to spend every waking minute with the gang, but she could never bring herself to say this. Well at least not to Toni. Toni seems really happy, Cheryl just hates that it's not because of her. 

It was Tuesday night. Toni was working late again, Cheryl decided to wait up for her. She flipped thru pages, reading The Amityville Horror to pass time. 

_You want to know something really flakey about that little room? I used to have nightmares about it._

"Cheryl." A voice called out. Cheryl realized it was far too high to be Toni's, her eyes quickly glanced to the doorway of her bedroom. 

"Penelope." Cheryl said surprised by the sight of mother standing before her."Cheryl, is that anyway to greet your mother." Penelope sneered, walking closer to Cheryl's. 

"What are you doing here?" Cheryl asked as she sat up in the 4 poster bed. "How did you even get in?" "Oh silly Cheryl." her mother raised the palm of her hand, causing Cheryl to flinch and scoot farther away.

Penelope sat on the bed next to Cheryl, and pulled her face closer to hers. "I have a key don't I?" a smirk formed upon Penelope's lips as Cheryl pulled away from her grasp. 

"So I have to tell Toni to get the locks changed." Cheryl spoke as her eyes returned back to the pages of the book. "Noted." "Changing the lock will not keep me away Cheryl, you out of all people should know that." her mother stood up from the bed and walked to the other side of the room. 

"And as far as Toni?" she said while grabbing an envelope from Cheryl's vanity. "I'm surprised you two are even still..whatever you are." Cheryl paused from reading but kept her eyes down.

"Whatever do you mean night hag?" Cheryl said becoming defensive. She would hate when people talked bad about Toni or let alone their relationship. 

"Toni loves me." Cheryl said trying to convince her mother. "Yea for now." her mother laughed out. "But what do you think is going to happen when she finally realizes it." "Cheryl?" Penelope walked back to where Cheryl was and stared deeply into her eyes as spoke. 

"Realizes what?" Cheryl asked, almost afraid of what her mother's response might be. "That you are nothing but a jealous, spite filled, starving, emotional anorexic."   
  


Cheryl's palms begin to sweat as she felt the bottom of her chin tremble. She fought back the tears that were trying to escape from her eyes, but one ended up slipping. "That's n..not tr..rue." she begin trip over her words. "It is. You have never known love and you never will." Penelope smirked causing Cheryl's blood to boil. 

She begin to walk out from the bedroom but Cheryl's words caused her to stop. "Your wrong!" she yelled as her voice cracked. Cheryl knew deep down inside that her mother's words were partially true. She just didn't want to admit it.

Anyone who came across Cheryl quickly left in a hurry. Toni is the only one who was brave enough to stay and Cheryl never understood why. 

Her mother paused for a second then replied. "It's only a matter of time before she leaves. Pretty soon she will realize how needy and how weak you truly are." 

A tear ran down Cheryl's cheek as a tiny whimper escaped from her parted lips. She's wrong Cheryl begin to think to herself. Toni tells you she loves you everyday, well she use to..

"I bet she has already begin to drift away. Hasn't she?" Penelope's words interrupted the thoughts that clouded Cheryl's head. "No." Cheryl forced herself to say. "She hasn't." But she was lying straight thru her teeth. 

Toni barely looked at Cheryl anymore, they slept together in the same bed every night, but was yet so disconnected from each other. They rarely talked, and when they did it was always about the gang, never about them. The bond that they share together just wasn't as strong anymore and Toni became far too busy to notice. 

"I've seen the way she looks at that delinquent gang member." Cheryl fiddled with her fingers in her lap as her mother begin to speak. "Hmm." "What was her name?" She's wrong Cheryl, Toni would never cheat on you. You know that. A thick layer of sweat dripped from Cheryl's forehead. 

"Peaches." Cheryl's heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach. The red head quickly sat up, knocking the book over onto the floor. Toni has spent a lot of time stealing glances from Peaches. Cheryl has caught them together on many occasions. Not only did it make her blood boil, but it made her heart heavy. She never told Toni how she felt, she was afraid it would just push her away. 

"Yup." "I'd keep that one close if I were you. Wouldn't be surprised if they are together right now." Penelope grabbed her envolope filled with mail and excited Cheryl's bedroom. "Ta ta darling. Mother will be back soon!" 

  
Cheryl heard the sound of the front door to ThistleHouse open. Tears fell from her eyes as she heard it close. She begin panting for air as she placed the palm of her hand against her chest. Her heart was pounding against her chest. "Was my mother's words true?" Cheryl asked herself. 

A time passes, Cheryl lays awake in her bed. The words of her mother are constantly replaying in her head. 

_jealous_

_spite filled_

_starving_

_emotional..anorexic_

_I'd keep that one close if I were you_

Cheryl shook her head at the thoughts running thru her mind. She's wrong Cheryl. What you and Toni have is perfect, at times it's too good to be true. 

"I can't keep torturing myself in this bed." Cheryl blurted out. "Toni is at La Bonne Nuit, I will just see for myself, if what my hateful mother said was true.

Cheryl got out of bed and changed her clothes. She changed into a black romper and some black louboutin heels. She headed over to Pops to talk Toni about what just happened.

"Hey Red." Reggie said as Cheryl approached the door to La Bonne Nuit. "Hey Reggie." "Toni's downstairs." he pointed to the door behind him. "I can go get her if you want." "No." Cheryl said quickly stopping him. 

"I'll go down." She forced her parted lips into a weak, fragile smile. The palm of her hands begin to tremble as she walked down the steps in the speakeasy. There was a crowd hovering over the stage as music played.   
  


She recognized Toni's singing as she pushed thru the crowd. 

_give you reasons_

_say it's not her fault_

Cheryl watched as Veronica and Toni gazed deeply into each other's eyes as they sang. "It's okay Cheryl." she whispered under her breath. 

_but you_

Veronica wraps her arm around Toni's shoulder, pulling her close.

_just found somebody new_

Toni can feel the warmth of Veronica's breath upon her face. Her lip gently grazes the side of Toni's cheek. Cheryl's stomach turns in knots as she stares directly at Toni. 

She looks happy, genuinely happy to be with Veronica. Cheryl bites the corner of her bottom lip, trying to hold back her tears. 

"Its just a song." she uttered under her breath. It hurts seeing Toni so happy with someone else but she didn't do anything wrong. Cheryl is about to turn around and leave when she sees a shadow appear out from the corner of her eye. 

Her eyes turned to spot Peaches walking onto the stage. Cheryl eyes wander over to Toni who greets Peaches with a hug.

As Toni arms wrap around Peaches waist, she places a soft kiss onto Toni's cheek, grazing the corner of her bottom lip. A tear falls onto Cheryl's cheek, as she watches Toni's face light up from Peaches's touch.

Cheryl watched as Toni's lips gently pressed against Peaches's ear. "What the hell..you almost kissed me." Toni whispered to her. "My bad." Peaches shrugged while continuing to dance. "I missed you, but don't do that." Toni said staring at her. "Chill boss. I said it was an accident." 

Cheryl begin to grow light headed, her legs beginning to feel like jello. It feels like her entire world just came crashing down in front of her eyes. She wants to say something, she wants to confront Toni but she can't bring herself to move, let alone speak. 

Cheryl's red stained lips begin to tremble, tears of pain ran down her cheeks.

_"you are nothing but a jealous, spite filled, starving, emotional anorexic."_  
  


How could you be so blind. Why didn't you notice. Cheryl begin to beat herself up. She quickly used her finger tips to wipe away her tears. Cheryl ran out of La Bonne Nuit, making sure Toni didn't notice her. 

She climbed into her car and slammed the door behind her. She rested her trembling chin upon the steering wheel as she broke down. Her breathing became uneven and she slammed her fists into the wheel. 

"So this is what she does while your at home waiting for her every night." "No one she comes home so late." Cheryl said to herself. "I can't." "I can't deal with the pain of another heart break..not from Toni."

Cheryl turned the keys into the ignition and pulled off from Pop's parking lot. She cried non stop during the drive back to ThistleHouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be better! it will finally include the actual break up😭 like always let me know what you think so far. Also ik I suck at ending chapters. sorry !


	3. the end of choni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter they finally break up  
> (im terrible at summaries)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters.

Cheryl's eyes filled with tears as she laid awake in her bed. Lost in her thoughts, she was too distracted to notice the sound of the front door opening and closing. 

Toni tip toed up the steps and into their bedroom. Assuming Cheryl was asleep, she crept towards the bed and sat down. Cheryl's head quickly lifted from the sound of the bed moving. Her glanced over to Toni who sat beside her. "Oh." Toni panted as the corners of her mouth quirked up "Your up."

She gently grasped Cheryl's chin in the palm of her hand. "I missed you." Toni said leaning in closer until their noses touched. They could feel the warmth of each other's breath upon their lips. 

Toni's mouth delicately brushed Cheryl's red stained lips before pulling away. She turned away from her, bending down to untie her black combat boots.

"The gang and I are planning to go on a trip this summer..."

Cheryl's thoughts begin to drown out the sound of Toni's voice. Here she go talking about that damn gang. We can't even spend a moment together without her mentioning them. It's like she's obsessed with them, Peaches in particular. 

Why does everything have to always be about them when will it be about me? It's only a matter of time before she leaves.

Cheryl begin to chew her fingernails as Toni proceeded to talk. You have to leave before she does. You can't let your mother know that she was right. You have to let Toni go before she hurts you..more than she already have.

"So I've started to put some money to the side and-" 

"I can't do this!" Cheryl blurted out, she yanked the covers off her legs and lifted herself up from the bed. Silence quickly filled the room.

Toni turned around, her eyes glancing back at Cheryl. The corners of her lips rose at the sight of Cheryl standing before her. 

"Do what?" she chuckled. Cheryl paused for a second, realizing what she said. The words just rolled off the tip of her tongue, she had no control over it. A few seconds passed before the red head responded.

"Us." Toni's smile quickly faded, her breathing became uneasy. "I can't be with you anymore." 

She turned around to face the door, lifting herself off the bed, she dragged her feet against the floor as she approached Cheryl. "Cher." her voice soft, almost sounding like a whisper. "What are you talking about?" 

Sweat begin to drip from Cheryl's forehead, her heart felt as though it was pounding out of her chest.

Her mind begin to race as she tried to find the right words to say. Before she could speak Toni broke the silence between them. 

"We have been together for a year and 3 months." she explained. "What do you mean you can't do this?" The pink haired girl placed the palm of her hands, on the side of her head shaking frantically. 

"I-..I" Cheryl begin to trip over her words as Toni stared into her eyes desperately waiting for an answer. 

The red head glanced at the ceiling, afraid that if she looked at Toni she would begin to break down. "I just can't do it anymore. I tried, but I can't." she uttered out. 

"But why.." The muscle in Toni's chest begin to tighten as her voice cracked. She stared at the ground beneath her, her chin begin to tremble, her eyes filled with tears.

"Don't you love me?" she asked. Cheryl's head turned to meet Toni's gaze. 

She walked to the center of the room where Toni stood waiting for an answer. "I can't be with you Toni." As she turned her back away from her, the sound of heavy breathing begin to fill the room. 

Cheryl bit the bottom corner of her lip and swallowed thickly. She felt her eyes water with tears but she refused to let them fall. 

She turned to face Toni, Cheryl stood frozen as she watched Toni rest the palm of her hand against her chest, gasping for air. A lump grew in Cheryl's throat, fear crossed her face. 

She wanted to comfort the pink haired girl, but she looked fragile and weak, as if she would fall into pieces from Cheryl's touch. Toni's hand reached out to grab onto Cheryl's wrist.

She placed her hand behind Cheryl's head and pulled her close. She leaned her forehead gently onto Cheryl's, her breath shallow and shaky blew heavily onto the red head's lips. 

She watched as a tear rolled down Toni's cheek, landing onto Cheryl's nose. "J- j..ust say i-it." she stuttered. Cheryl's eyes raised to gaze deeply into Toni's. She witnessed the desperation behind them as more tears begin to fall. 

"Please." Toni's breathing was rapid as her breath blew onto Cheryl's skin. The red head shook her head slowly as Toni tightened her grip around her. She begin to push away, Toni used the palm of her hand to pull her back in. 

"Please Cher." Toni whispered. "I love you." "Let me fix this. Whatever it is." Toni cried out. "I can't imagine a life without you." Cheryl's red stained lips begin to tremble as tears fell from her eyes. 

Here Toni was, being vulnerable enough to fight for her but Cheryl couldn't do the same.

She was afraid that one day Toni would stop loving her. Cheryl's craziness will have become too much for her to bare. She's already started to drift away.

Images of her and Peaches kept replaying in Cheryl's head.Her was mother was right she will never know love, besides to rip it apart. 

"You have to go Toni." she mumbled. Toni gasped for air as more tears begin to fall, blurring her vision. Her hand dropped to her side, releasing the hold of Cheryl's head. 

She placed her nose up to her arm, she sobbed into the sleeve of her Serpent Jacket. Cheryl watched as tears fell freely onto Toni's cheeks. "T.T-" her breath shallow, Toni bolted out of Cheryl's room sobbing.

Cheryl's heart begin to ache as she heard the door to ThistleHouse slam. (her mothers words abt being deviant) cheryl chest begin to heave as she panted. Her nostrils flared, tears flodded her eyes her mother's words polluted her thoughts she knocked over the makeup on top of the vanity.  
  


She ripped the covers from the bed, tears rolled down her pale white cheeks. Her stomach turned in knots, as she slouched down against the wall and placed her face into the palm of her shaky hands.

Cheryl what did you just do..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think. do you think cheryl was being irrational for breaking up with toni?


	4. the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i suck at summaries, i'm probably going to stop trying at them lol. 
> 
> but this chapter slightly gets into the aftermath of cheryl and toni's break up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't own any of these characters.
> 
> i'm not used to writing fanfics so pls be patient also like always lemme know what you think !

the next day 

toni walks the halls of riverdale high with her head hanging low. she walks to her locker, input her locker combination into the locker then pulls it open. stuffing books into her bag, she feels someone's warm breath on the back of her neck causing her to shiver.

she turns around to see peaches standing behind her. "hey," toni says. "hey boss," peaches walks over to toni's right side and watches as she grabs her books. "so about tonight's meeting i was think-" toni cuts peaches off before she can finish her sentence.

"actually i can't make tonight's meeting," her voice soft almost like a whisper. "what?" peaches jaw drops open. toni shrugs while still staring into her locker. "but your leader you can't skip out on the meeting," before toni can respond her and peaches hear the sound of louboutin heels smack against the floor.

toni quickly turns her head in the direction of the sound, looking over at cheryl who walks up to archie andrew's locker that is located a few rows down from toni's.

"archie andrews," a smile forms upon cheryl's face as archie smiles at her. "hey cheryl," his voice hoarse. "cousin betty said you sent for me?" toni's eyes wander up and down cheryl's body as she talks to archie.

cheryl is wearing a black crop top, a red plaid skirt, black louboutin heels, and a black choker around her neck. toni's eyes flicker from cheryl's body up to her red-stained lips then to archie.

"yeah i did cheryl," "i need some help this project i have to do for history class an-," cheryl raises her index finger cutting him off. "we don't have history together," she says. "and on top of that why would i, c _heryl blossom_ help you archie andrews?" archie rolls his eyes at cheryl before responding.

"because i need it plus i'll do whatever you want," cheryl stares at him while tapping her index finger against her chin.

"cmon cher," he caresses her arms in the palm of his hands cheryl's eyes widens as toni watches. she breathes heavily as her nostrils flare. peaches glances over at toni who looks like she's going to explode then back at cheryl. 

if cheryl help tutor him she would be doing a good deed for someone else which is something she never does. on top of it, she'll be so distracted with helping archie that she wont have any time to dwell upon her past relationship. 

cheryl eyes flicker from archie's glistening eyes down to his hands that are still holding onto her. she gazes deeply into his eyes caress his chin in the palm of her hands, pulling his face closer to hers. peaches gasp and toni's heart sinks into her stomach.

"um isn't that your girl?" peaches asks while staring at toni who clenches her jaw. "okay," "you got yourself a deal archie andrews," cheryl whispers softly. 

toni slams the door of her locker startling archie and cheryl causing them to glance over at her and peaches. cheryl hands falls to her side as toni mutters something under her breath before stomping away in the opposite direction. 

cheryl rolls her eyes and scoffs she looks over to archie who raises his brow at her. "what the hell was that about?" he asks. of course no one else knows about cheryl and toni's breakup.

it just happened yesterday the news hasn't broken way to everyone in the school yet. plus cheryl doesn't plan on the entire student body finding out that her healthy loving relationship came to a tragic end.

cheryl blossom isn't one to air out her dirty laundry for everyone to see. her mother might be one to do that, but cheryl isn't. 

"we can meet at your place tonight," "hmm. how does 7 sound?" before archie can respond she nods her head before walking away. as she passes peaches who is still standing at toni's locker she rolls her eyes. peaches cross her arms together and glare at cheryl. 

cheryl walks into her next class which is biology. toni sits in the back of the class staring into her textbook. as cheryl walks in toni glances up from her book, looking at cheryl. their eyes meet and cheryl feels a lump grow in her throat.

toni breathes heavily while cheryl swallows thickly before breaking eye contact with toni she sits down in the seat closest to the door. as more students come in and take their seats, in walks kevin keller who sits in the seat next to cheryl. 

"did i miss something?" he looks back at toni then at cheryl. cheryl "yeah. you missed the part where you mind your own business," she frowns. "jeez," kevin says. "someone's being a bitch today," "well kevy, they dont call cheryl blossom hbic for nothing," she smirks as the bell rings.

30 minutes into class ms.evans stops her lecture to give everyone their partners for next week's project.

"betty you will be working with kevin," betty claps her hands together as kevin glances back smiling. "toni you will be working with josie," josie turns around to face toni who is still staring down at her textbook. toni has the side of her head resting against the palm of her hand.

"archie and cheryl, you two will be working together-" toni raises her head to glance over at archie then to cheryl. "fantastic," cheryl says as her lips turn upwards into a smile." look like we will be spending more time together arch," cheryl places the palm of her hand upon the sleeve's arm of archie's leatherman jacket.

archie smiles as they gaze deeply into each other's eyes. toni felt a jolt of anger travel through her body. she slams her fist on the table causing everyone in the class she looks back at her. she snatches her bag off the floor, grabs her books and pushes off her chair. 

"antoinette topaz!" ms. evans cross her arms together. toni slings her black bag over her shoulder as her combat boots smack against the floor. "if you walk out of that door there will be consequences!" toni throws her hand in the air before pushing thru the door. 

cheryl rolls her eyes while everyone else in class turns to look at her. she glances back "what?!" "aren't you going to go after her..." betty mumbles. "no," cheryl says becoming irritated. "god betty!" "i'm not her fucking therapist-" "mrs.blossom!" 

veronica is walking down the hall when she sees reggie mantel. "hey reg," she says placing her hand upon his shoulder. he glances back at her then forward as he continues to walk. "wassup ronnie," he says. "i need a big favor," "i need you to come in a little earlier tonight, i have to set up for this special guest an-" "yea for sure. i'll do it," veronica smiles then plants a soft kiss onto reggie's cheek. 

his cheeks flush from veronica's touch. "okay!" she says. "see you tonight," she clutches her books while still smiling. while walking to the student lounge she hears sniffling coming from the gym. 

her black heels clack against the floor as she approaches the gym, she peeks her head thru the opened double doors. she spots toni sitting on the floor next to the bleachers. her smile disappears as she steps over to toni. 

toni hears the sound of veronica's heals smacking against the floor, she quickly uses the padding of her fingers to wipe her tears away. she sniffles again before looking up at veronica. "veronica," a fragile smile forms across her face. "what are you doing here?" she breathes heavily. "toni..what's wrong?" veronica asks while standing over her. 

"nothing," she replies "oh don't give me that. you look like you just lost your best friend," 

_"i can't be with you toni," "i've tried..but i just can't,"_

toni's bottom lip trembled as tears stream down her cheeks. "hey hey hey," veronica says. she sits down next to toni and wraps her around her shoulder pulling her closer to her. "it's okay," she says rubbing her hand upon toni's shoulder. 

"cheryl and i broke up," toni cries out. "i-" veronica lost for words looks down at toni who is now crying on her shoulder. "why?" toni shakes her head. "i don't know," she gasps for air. veronica can feel the warmth of toni's breath upon her neck. 

"she wouldn't tell me. she just said she was tired and couldn't do it anymore," "wow," veronica jaw drops open. "that's messed up," toni rests her head in the crook of veronica's neck crying harder now. 

veronica can hear the sound of toni's heartbeat it sounds like her heart is going to pound out of her chest. "is there anything i can do?" veronica asks while still rubbing toni. "do you want me to talk to her?" 

"no," toni says. "i-i..j..ust don't g-get it," she stutters. "i thought i was doing everything right," "i-i..i tried," toni takes a deep breath. "i held her on nights where she wouldn't stop crying," "i would tell her everyday how she was the most beautiful person i have laid my eyes on," 

"i-..i..mean," toni sniffles raises her head to look into veronica's eyes. veronica can see the dullness within toni's eyes. there are bags underneath them. her hair is messy her curls are crinkled. she looks as if she hasn't slept in days.

"i mean i was there when no one else was," "so why.." a tear falls onto toni's chest. "w-why..why am i-i.. not good enough for her?" her chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. veronica's heart sinks to her stomach after she hears the crack in toni's voice. she gently pulls toni's head, turning it to face her. "look at me," veronica says. toni eyes stare into veronica's.

"hey," a soft smile appears upon her face as she speak. "you _are_ more than enough," she says. "and cheryl loves you. you are the only person in this world that she has ever loved besides jason," "i don't know what happened," veronica's eyes flicker to the floor then back at toni. 

"but you will get through it," "okay?" toni nods her head to assure veronica she's listening. veronica raises the palm of her hand and wipes away toni's tears. toni sniffles as her eyes look down into her lap. 

"where did you sleep last night toni?" veronica asks. toni looks up at her then down again. "i'm...not going to judge you," she says. a few seconds pass before toni responds. "on a bench in this abandoned park," toni breaks eye contact with veronica because she is too ashamed to look at her. 

"what?!" "nope. uh un," she shakes her head as she digs into her black chanel purse. toni looks over at her while she pulls a key out from her purse. veronica pulls toni's fingers back opening the palm of her hand. 

she places the key inside then close toni's hand. "what is this?" toni asks. her voice soft almost like a whisper. "a spare key to la bonne nuit," toni's jaw drop open slighty. "veronica i c..ca-" veronica places her finger against toni's soft parted lips. 

"aht. i don't care what you say toni," "i won't have you sleeping on a bench at some creepy park where anything can happen," "you can sleep at a booth at la bonne nuit. or you can sleepover at the pennbrooke, my parents won't mind. they will understand," veronica's lips turn upwards into a smile.

toni stared down at the golden key then at veronica. "why are you doing this?" she asks. "i care about you silly," she softly nudges toni on her shoulder. a weak smile forms across toni's face. "plus i know how hard dealing with a break up can be," veronica's eyes glance around the gym then return to toni. 

"i want you to know i'm here for you. you aren't alone," toni gaze into veronica's eyes. she places her hands upon her shoulders and pulls her into a hug. toni rests her chin upon veronica's shoulder. "are you getting snot on me?" veronica smiles and toni breaks out laughing. 

she pulls back from the hug and wipes the sleeve of her pretty poison's leather jacket against her snotty nose. she takes a deep breath veronica rubs her hand upon her shoulder. "do you feel a little better?" toni nods her head a little. 

"good," veronica says. "and i better not find you crying in here again. next time come to me. you need a shoulder to cry on not.." she eyes wander around the gym then to toni. "some bleachers," toni's face lights up her and veronica both begin to laugh. 

as the two of them are laughing while staring at each other toni's phone vibrates in her lap. toni begins to frown as she looks down at the message on her phone.

**_cheryl:_** _come to thistlehouse before 6 to get the rest of your things._

"what?" veronica asks her smile fades away. "it's cheryl," toni says still staring down at her phone. she lifts the screen up to veronica as she leans over to the read the text. 

"oh.." she says leaning back. "are you going to go?" veronica asks. toni looks up from her phone and shakes her head. "i need my clothes. i don't have anything. "well do you want me to go with you?" "i can be there to help you pack," she says. 

toni thinks about the idea for a second before responding. "no," she says. "i should do it alone," she looks down at her lap. veronica reaches her hand out and places it on top of toni's. her stomach begins to flutter as she feels the warmth of veronica's hand. she rubs her fingers inside the palm of toni's hand. 

toni looks up at veronica who smiles lovingly at her. she feels the warmth of cheeks as she begins to blush. somehow in this moment, toni feels safe. she hasn't felt this way in a while but it feels good. it feels like she can be vulnerable with veronica the way she was with cheryl...

later on that night

toni pulls up to thistlehouse with an empty black duffle bag slung across her shoulder. she parks her bike next to cheryl's red impala and climbs off. she place her helmet against the bike takes a deep breath then walks up to the door. 

her heart begins to race as she knocks on the door and waits for a response. she still has her key but it would feel weird if she uses it. it would feel almost as if she was breaking in because thistlehouse was no longer her home. as of now she doesn't have one. 

she hears footsteps coming closer to the door, not soon after cheryl pulls the door open. toni's eyes wander up and down cheryl's body. cheryl however didn't even toni's way before walking upstairs to her room. 

toni scoffs walks inside and closes the door behind her. she follows cheryl up to her room and begins to pack. as toni is throwing her clothes in the closet into her duffle bag sitting on the floor cheryl is curled up into a ball on the edge of her bed staring at her phone.

_why is she even here? toni thinks to herself._

_of course it's her house but do she really not have any other plans tonight? why does she have to be in here while i pack?_

as toni stuffs some flannel shirts and some black ripped jeans into the bag cheryl laughs while looking down at her phone. toni rolls her eyes. 

_she's probably laughing at arch. ugh toni practically threw up when she heard cheryl give him that corny ass nickname._

toni finishes packing and begins to leave the room. cheryl looks up at the half empty closet she spots the stuffed bunny in the closet. she drops her phone down lifts herself off from the bed and grabs it from the closet. 

"wait," she says chasing after toni. "you forgo-" she reaches down and grabs toni's wrists. toni quickly turns around yanks cheryl's hand off her wrist. "cheryl don't," rage flows through toni like lava. cheryl's eyes widen and her jaw drops open. "don't touch me," 

"are you serious?!" cheryl raises her voice. "god toni it's a fucking stuffed animal," toni watched as cheryl throws the bunny across the room. "stop being so childish!" anger sweeps over her. "grow the fuck up my god!" she turns her back to toni and walks away. 

"grow up?" toni asks as she walks closer to cheryl. "really cheryl?!" toni says in disbelief. "grow up?" toni eyes begin to water her and her breathing becomes rapid. "cheryl. i am hurting," toni's voice cracks. she stares down at the ground as a tear falls onto her cheek her shoulders droop down.

"my heart is aching," "we were together for a year and fucking 3 months, you are the only thing that has ever felt like a home to me," "and everything was so perfect almost like a fairy tale," toni shrugs.

"then one day you just pushed me away," her voice soft and fragile. "you couldn't even tell me why...you just said you couldn't do it anymore. and now you have the nerve to tell me to grow up?" toni scoffs. "you have no right to tell me how to feel!"

"not when you aren't hur-," "you really think i'm not hurting toni?!" cheryl yells as she turns to face toni who has tears running down her cheeks. "you think it's easier for me?!" "just because i am not slamming lockers or walking out of class for no fucking reason does not mean that this doesn't hurt for me too," cheryl pounds her fist against her chest. 

"you have no idea what i am going through so don't fucking act like you do," "you are the reason we aren't together cheryl. you broke up with _m-"_

"you think i wanted to?" cheryl cuts her off. "you think i wanted to leave the only person in this world that has made me feel like i was enough," 

cheryl steps away from toni but she follows behind her. "then why did you?! huh," "because i came home late one fucking night," "it was more than one night!" cheryl voice cracks as she fight back the tears in her eyes.

"i spent sooo many nights waiting for you. alone in this bed," she glances down at the bed as she runs her hand against the dark red cover. "cheryl..we needed the mone-" cheryl's body swings around to face toni. "no toni! _you_ needed money! she yells pointing her index finger into toni's chest. 

"for that fucking _gang_!" tears begin to fall from cheryl's eyes as she stares deeply into toni's. "you needed the money for that stupid trip you planned to go on with them," " _we_ didn't need the money,"

she turns away from toni and steps over to the left side of the bed. cheryl runs her fingers through her curly hair as she plops down on the bed. 

toni bites the corner of her bottom lip that trembles as tears fall. "that's not true. cher i-" "j...just." cheryl takes a deep breath. her back turned to toni as her eyes stare deeply into the closet in front of her. "just leave toni," she says softly. toni stands still in the middle of the room. "you got the rest of your stuff..now just go," cheryl waves her hand back at toni. 

her combat boots drag against the floor as she walks over to her duff;e bag and picks it up by the door. slings it across her shoulder. she looks up at the door then back at cheryl as tears fill her eyes blurring her vision. toni opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. 

she glances back at cheryl's vanity everything that use to be on it is gone. including the pictures of toni with cheryl. everything was going so perfectly. they were in love and for the first time, toni had a home, a special place in cheryl's heart where she would always belong. cheryl finally loved someone else other than her brother jason. ever since he died her world was dark that is until she met, then it was bright again. 

_"you make me feel on top of the world t.t"_

_cheryl's eyes glistened as she smiled while gazing deeply into toni's eyes._

_"and i don't ever want to come down,"_

toni shakes her head trying to drown out the memories of them together before walking out the bedroom door and down the steps. cheryl's chest heaves up and down as she grips onto the cover that is draped across her bed. tears stream down her cheeks as she is panting for air. 

toni walks thru the living room and pulls the key out from her back pocket. she places the key to thistlehouse on the coffee table. she stops and looks around the room before making her way to the front door. she pulls onto the doorknob, walk outside and close the door behind her. 

she uses the sleeve of her leather jacket to wipe away her tears. her arms cross together. she begins to walk towards her bike but she stops to glance back at thistle house one last time. a tear rolls down her face and she sniffles. she turns back around and climbs onto her bike. she places her helmet over her head turns her keys into the ignition. she takes a deep breath before driving away. 

cheryl's phone buzz next to her. she looks down to see archie's name across the screen. 

_**archie**_ - _r we still on for tonight?_

cheryl uses the padding of her fingers to wipe away her tears. she unlocks her phone and replies back to archie's text. 

_**cheryl** -of course _

of course, cheryl can just stay home and spend the next few hours crying her heart out because of toni but that won't fix anything. she broke up with her because she's afraid...afraid that toni will just leave like everyone else that comes into her life. 

cheryl's mother polluted her mind with negative thoughts about her and toni's relationship. yes, cheryl overreacted that night, but can you blame her? her family has taught her for years that she wasn't enough. even someone as special, and as kind-hearted as toni can not fix someone that is completely broken inside like cheryl blossom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is literally soooo long😂wow i'm sorry. i really just wanted to fit all of it into one. 
> 
> i promise the next ones wont be this long but let me know what you think so far.


	5. i feel heaven when you're here with me i feel hell everytime you leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyy guys. the point of me writing this fanfic was to show both sides of choni's breakup but  
> more so toni's pov
> 
> when they broke up in season 3 we didn't get to see much of how they felt it was mostly just cheryl putting her walls back up again. 
> 
> the writers didn't go in depth with toni's feelings about the break up and i wanted to. 
> 
> my point is to represent that, pain and heartbreak looks different on everyone 
> 
> so that's where my idea came from. that's how we made it here. hello. welcome. stay a while. or don't 😏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from now on i will be using lyrics from different songs for the chapter titles. i have a hard time thinking of title names soo yea lmao
> 
> also thank you sm for the comments and kudos. i honestly didn't think anyone would enjoy this lmao. anyway here we go
> 
> let me know what you think, leave predictions for the next chapter, leave kudos, or comments if you want. go crazy

it was a regular tuesday night. cheryl was sprung out on the floor, her head resting in the palm of her hand that was propped up by her elbow, open textbooks scattered around her. archie sat across from her, criss cross apple sauce, staring absentmindedly into his world history book. 

the two have scheduled study dates at archie's house every tuesday and thursday. the redhead wasn't too fond with the idea of helping archie with his classes, she really only took the offer so that the universe would reward her with some good karma, cause lord knows she needs it. 

at first, it was a burden spending so much time with him outside of school, but as time passed, cheryl actually grew to love their little study sessions. 

she enjoys spending 2 days out of the week, every week, at archie's cozy 2 bedroom home. his father cooks dinner whenever she comes over. fred takes the time to learn more about cheryl, he has learned that the reason her signature color is red is because red symbolizes courage, strength, and integrity. duh.

he has even asked cheryl about her plans for college, cheryl not sure where she wants to go just yet, but she knows for sure her career will involve the medical field. 

it's sad that fred is more of a father figure to cheryl, than clifford blossom ever was. he actually cares about her well being, not because he gains anything from caring, but because he just does. he's just a wholesome, loving person, much like archie.

whenever she is over his house, cheryl is always showered with love and attention, the very few things her parents have left her starving for, maybe that's why she always find herself coming back here. 

and as far archie? cheryl has begin to love his charm and the dorky jokes she swears he must find somewhere on the internet. she loves the way he scratches his head nervously when he doesn't know the answer to said question or the way that lopsided smile forms against his lips whenever he's nervous. ugh that stupid smile. 

cheryl must say, out of all her fellow classmates at riverdale high, she never expected to form a bond with _archie andrews._ maybe she was too quick to write him off as "just another sweaty _neanderthal_ at riverdale, that has a brain the size of a _toddler's_ _fist,"_

boy did he prove her wrong. he's actually very intelligent, so intelligent that she doesn't really understand why he needed her help in the first place, but here they are. studying on a tuesday night in archie's bedroom. she doesn't know what it is that causes her to adore his presence the way she does.

maybe it's the way he always checks in on her like it's his responsibility. yes cheryl has pain buried in the deep depths of her heart and soul, she wears it well almost like a shield, but archie sees right through her hbic attitude, and through her walls. the ones she have rebuilt oh so many times. 

maybe it's the way he protects and stands up for her. one morning at school, a serpent cheryl believes his name is joaquin? or something..whatever it is, the buffoon wasn't paying attention, his face was buried in the screen of his phone, when he bumped into her nearly knocking cheryl off her feet. 

archie was quick on his feet to catch the redheaded princess, seconds later he was chewing the serpent's head off for what seemed like 10 minutes. so dare she say it? archie andrews _have_ earned himself a special place in cheryl blossom's fragile heart. 

and although they are suppose to be studying for a important history exam, they have been going at it for maybe 2 hours now, cheryl's mind continues to roam else where. constantly returning back to a place where a girl with beautiful pink vibrant curls reside.

her rich caramel skin, god cheryl misses the days where they would lay lazily in bed all morning, admiring the beauty of each other's features. she would trace patterns with the padding of her fingers across toni's abdomen. the shorter girl would melt into her touch, purring softly whenever cheryl's fingers ran across a sensitive spot. 

god, toni was the last person cheryl would ever want to hurt. she was the only one who saw cheryl for who she really was, which wasn't this loveless monster her mother programmed her to believe she was, but rather a girl that just wanted to be appreciated and cared for.

one that ached and longed for love because she could never find it in the right places, that was until toni came crashing into her life. she was the only person who cared enough to see past cheryl's heart made of stone and break her walls down, the ones cheryl built the day her brother took his final breath. 

toni was the only person the redhead has ever loved in this cruel world, and now she's gone. that love has wilted, her heart has been broken into pieces and because of what? because of her mother spewing hatred towards cheryl like she always does. what else is new?

toni was the only person that made her feel something, something real, something that didn't cause her to question her self worth or what she meant to this world. she made cheryl feel loved, nothing the redhead has ever felt before and now it's ruined. the only thing she has left are the memories that constantly play on repeat in her head, when she's lying alone in her 4 poster bed at night.

it has become a habit of cheryl waking up on toni's side of the bed, inhaling the pillow, the smell of her, which is the only thing toni left behind for cheryl to remember her by. citrus shampoo and lavender body wash invading the redhead's nose, she clutches the pillow as close to her as she possibly can, vouching to never release it from her embrace. it's pathetic yes, but at this point cheryl doesn't fight it anymore, part of her is dying inside, she misses her more than anything. 

she still regrets the night she kicked toni out after she came home late, and the night where they screamed each other's heads off for what seemed like hours, after toni collected the rest of her things from thistlehouse. god, cheryl was so busy being frustrated with toni's actions at school, that she didn't get the chance to ask her where she has been staying.

she knows the brunette and her uncle don't get along very well, she moved out of his trailer when they first began dating. well she was more so kicked out of his trailer, for whatever reasons toni never expressed with her, that's when cheryl proposed the idea to live together.

yes the redhead kicked her out, but still, toni's home situation has stayed on cheryl's mind ever since she left. she doesn't want toni to be sleeping in some back way alley, under a cardboard box because of he-

"cher," a soft voice pulls her away from her thoughts about toni and back into the real world. when she comes to, she sees archie's hand waving a few inches away from her face. "pardon?" "where did you go," a soft chuckle escapes his lips before his eyes return back to the text book being help up in his hands. "i lost you for a second," 

"oh," the redhead darts out her tongue to lick her dry lips. "i was um.." "are you okay?" yes. aside from the not sleeping at night, because she can't find it in herself to sleep without toni by her side, providing the extra warmth and comfort she needs in order to drift off into slumber.

when cheryl does finally manage to drift off, her dreams are only ever clouded with a beautiful pink haired girl that is no longer present in her life anymore.

oh cheryl's fine, considering the fact she tears herself to shreds any and every chance she get, for being cold hearted enough to break someone as sweet, pure, and as innocent as toni. oh, yes, cheryl deserves the worst that is yet to come. 

how could she ever forget the images of toni breaking down, her gasping for air but not being able to find any. she has never looked so small before, so fragile that if cheryl even dared to touch her, she might break into a million pieces. those beautiful, big, milk chocolate eyes overflowed with tears that were caused by cheryl.

god, how could she live with herself for breaking someone so loving, and so vulnerable, good question she isn't living with herself, she's surviving. cheryl hates what she did but, she hates herself even more for allowing their relationship to get to this point. a point where they go days without speaking to one another. so yeah archie, cheryl is fine. she is just peachy.

"you can talk to me. if you need someone..i'm here," cheryl's eyes raise from the floor to meet archie's gaze. ugh there goes those beautiful sparkly brown eyes filled with nothing but sincerity and love. the same sparkle she has seen in j.j eyes so many times before she could never keep track. oh how could she ever forget it. 

would it really be wrong to let her walls down for the boy sitting in front of her? she's never let down her walls for anyone, but this is her friend. the one who is so concerned and worried about what's going on in her head, that he can't continue his tasks at hand.

the only time cheryl has ever lowered her walls was for toni. hell toni broke down her walls like her life depended on it. would it be so wrong to be vulnerable in this moment with archie? would she be betraying toni if she lets someone else in?

"toni and i broke up," cheryl blurts out faster than she can stop herself. archie eyes widen as he stares deeply into her eyes. a sigh escapes from her lips before she props herself up on her knees. she scrapes her nails against the skin of her thighs before continuing. "we broke up and i feel terrible," 

"did you want to get into what happened?" the redhead exhales heavily, her eyes bounce around archie's bedroom before returning to him. "a lot. for a while she was upset because i got us kicked out the serpents," "when i created the pretty poisons for her.. i thought it would fix everything but it didn't," 

"did you ever ask her how she felt?" maybe it would've been easier to clear the air with toni and cause cheryl's assumptions about their relationship to come to a halt, _if_ she wasn't spending all her damn time with peaches and her other little sidekicks.

nevertheless, cheryl ignores the bitterness brewing in the pit of her stomach, and takes this opportunity to open up about her feelings because, they have been consuming her for a week and she so desperately needs to let them free.

"no. our communication was awful so i never brought it up. then recently my mother came back.." "penelope?" it has been a while since anyone has seen even a trace of her, well that is since she murdered hale cooper in front of his own daughter and her friends, traumatizing them for the rest of their lives. 

"yes. she came back for a brief moment and she said some things that made me question the strength of me and toni's relationship. i-," archie laughs distracts cheryl's train of thought. she purses her lips, instantly regretting opening her mouth about toni let alone their relationship. 

"you have to know that whatever comes out of _penelope blossom's_ mouth is total _bullshit_ ," the athlete places the palm of his hand on cheryl's bare shoulder. her body tenses, her features scrunches before eventually softening. "you love toni right?" "more than anything," she doesn't even need to sit and contemplate her answer.

of course she still loves toni even after breaking her heart into little pieces. even after seeing her so intimate with peaches, she could never stop herself from loving that amazing beautiful soul that deserves so much more than her. 

"then why does anything else matter? i'm not saying it's simple cher but..you love her and im pretty sure she still loves you," "you shouldn't let someone who doesn't know what the hell they are talking about, allow you to question how genuine your love for her is. only you two will ever understand it," 

archie's words struck her like a truck. the redhead opens her mouth to rebuttal but she has nothing to argue. he's right, she _does_ love toni, more than anything, how could she ever question that? how could she be dumb enough to let her mother, peaches or anyone for that matter ruin their undeniable love for one another.

she only has herself to blame for being so insecure within her relationship with toni, that she went seeking validation from outside sources like her mother. someone who claims to have known so much about cheryl's relationship with toni, but has never seen the two of them behind closed doors.

she doesn't know that, whenever cheryl wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, gasping for air while clutching her chest and is completely drenched in sweat, toni is right there, right by her side. she would hold the redhead for what felt like hours, inside her arms.

toni would use the padding of her thumb to brush away the tears that stained cheryl's cheeks. she would then press soft kisses to her porcelain skin, kissing away the pain that those tears held deep inside of them. 

occasionally, she would place a soft tender kiss to the redhead's forehead trying to calm her down. she was always so gentle went it came to the redhead, yes she was a hardcore gang member but when it came to cheryl, toni was as soft as cotton balls. 

there had been multiple weekends where, cheryl just wanted to cuddle and watch disney movies all day, saying that the movies brought her comfort, and made her feel like a kid again. of course, toni opposed against it, saying she wouldn't be caught _dead_ watching kiddy movies for fun.

but then, cheryl would do that cute little thing where, she pokes out her bottom lip and folds her arms against her chest, while flaring her nostrils in the process. the sight always caused toni's heart to become a fluttering mess.

cheryl pouted like a child and would shoot toni her signature puppy dog eyes, a look that was reserved for toni and _only_ toni. one that always caused toni's heart to melt, eventually she would give, like always, and before she knew it, they were both, snuggled up on the couch in warm blankets and disney stitch onesies.

their legs tangled together, cheryl's head resting against toni's chest, listening to toni's hurt thump against her chest, which was like music to cheryl's ears. toni's arms were wrapped tightly around the redhead's waist vowing to never let her go.

their hands would occasionally brush together, as they both would reach for the caramel drizzled popcorn, the contact causing electricity to shoot through their bodies like shock waves. 

by the 3rd movie, toni's heart was thudding against her chest as she pulled cheryl impossibly closer into her embrace, their bodies melting into each other to create one. the shorter girl pressed a soft, oh so soft, kiss to the girl's temple.

as they watched inside out on the tv screen, the pink haired girl couldn't help but admire how beautiful her girlfriend truly was. she loved the way cheryl would throw her head back laughing, whenever riley threw a hissy fit about eating her veggies, a hissy fit much like the one she threw not too long ago.

she couldn't help but melt at the sight of cheryl crying because bigbong died, hell even toni shed a tear or two. it was heartbreaking when he sacrificed himself just so that riley could be happy. _"you made it! go, go save riley! ahaha..take her to the moon for me..okay?"_ so yes, maybe a few tears might have slipped from toni's eyelids, just don't tell anyone..she would only deny it anyway.

it was at that moment when toni realized she was indeed _whipped_ , but she didn't care. this was love. spending every waking minute that she has left on this earth with cheryl, that was happiness to toni and the girl swears she wouldn't have it any other way. 

not every moment they spent together was horrid, they had a lot of amazing, breath taking moments, but eventually the bad begin to out weigh the good and that's when their relationship took a turn for the worst.

and although the pink haired girl has _never_ given cheryl a reason to be insecure. well..there was that night at la bonne nuit, the way she stared at peaches with loved filled eyes.

love that she thought was only reserved for her. then the kiss .. how could cheryl ever forget it? she cried so many times that night, she thought she could never stop. 

cheryl's heart sinks to her stomach, the thought of someone else's lips on toni drives her crazy. it takes her back to that place that night, remembering that there are other people in this world, less broken, less fragile than she is, that could swoop toni off her feet faster than she could blink. it doesn't matter now, she has already allowed the love of her life to slip through her fingers. there is no getting her back. 

tears break free from cheryl's eyes, falling onto her cheeks. "oh shit. cheryl i'm so-," before he can finish, the two of them hear foot steps approaching his room. "hey archie i-," cheryl's cousin betty stops in the doorway.

her eyebrows furrows and her mouth slightly drops open. "i-..cheryl?" her eyes narrow as she steps into the room. "cher. what's wrong?" archie stands quickly to his feet but it still lost for words. he runs his fingers through his fiery red hair. 

"nothing," cheryl replies quickly. "but your crying.." "we were just studying. cheryl got a little upset about her and toni's break u-," "what?" betty's eyes widen at the words _toni_ and _break_. the taller girl shoots archie a nasty glare, basically telling him to _shut the fuck up before cheryl rips his beating heart out of his chest,_ but it's too late.

the cat is out of the bag and betty knows now. cheryl have yet to tell her friends about her and toni's break up, mostly because it's too painful to think about, let alone speak about, plus it's not really any of their business. "shit." he mutters, he scratches the back of his head nervously. 

"you and toni broke up? oh my god cheryl. did you want to talk about it," "no..no cousin betty," the redhead uses the padding of her fingers to brush away the reminder of her tears.

betty and archie watches as the redhead pushes herself up from the ground, she swipes her hand against her black skirt, brushing away the dust. she begins collecting her things and placing them into her bag. 

"i think..i'm just going to head home," cheryl places her slender arms through the straps of her tiny red bag, before she picks her books off the ground and collects her phone. as she makes her way over to the door, betty steps over, making room for her to leave. "cheryl don't," archie breathes out. 

she stops at the door and turns to archie whose face is as bright as a tomato, clearly embarrassed that he let cheryl and toni's break up slip through his teeth. it wasn't his decision to tell betty, it was cheryl's and he took that away from her. "oh yea and.." 

she leans in close to archie's lips, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his breathing becomes shaky. "remind me never to be vulnerable with you again," cheryl's warm breath brushes against his parted lips. and just like that, cheryl walls were rebuilt once again threatening to never collapse for _anyone_. "archibald," she slaps the palm of her hand against his chest. "ta ta cousin!" her heals clack against the floor as she makes her way down the hall. 

archie looks over at betty who mouths "sorry," before raising her hands apologetically. the redhead sighs heavily then plops himself down onto the bed, sadness and guilt washes over him and his face. 

\--

cheryl sits upon the red antique couch in the center of the room, josie's legs are sprung out into her lap. veronica sits right to the redhead, she's going on about something hiram did, who knows what it is this time.

kevin sits across from them in a chair closest to the door, he's on the edge of his seat anticipating whatever gossip is spewing from veronica's purple stained lips. betty and jughead's bodies are draped across each other on the love seat couch.

betty uses her fingers to trace against jughead's nose, cheryl swears she's going to barf at how intimate they are being. archie sits in a chair closest to josie, the palm of his hand rests upon her shoulder. they are having their own private conversation while veronica goes on and on about her father. 

cheryl however isn't engaged in either conversations, her heels tap against the wooden floor, her tongue pokes through teeth while her eyes are concentrated on the book being held up in her lap. her fingers brushing against the pages of "in cold blood" by truman copete.

after jason's death, cheryl has found herself fairly intrigued with murder mysteries. some may find it rather sick or alarming that after her brother's gruesome murder, cheryl reads books about bloody, gory killings just for the hell of it, but the redhead doesn't think too much of it. 

cheryl's mind is deeply into the book and not on her friends, but she is awfully thankful they chose to spend lunch in the lounge today, the cafeteria was far too roudy for the group's liking.

cheryl doesn't mind the noise, however, she dreaded being in the cafeteria because she knew her eyes would just continue to wander over to a certain pinkhaired girl. 

she has tried her best to avoid toni at all costs, not that its really a challenge for her, toni doesn't really have any plans of seeing cheryl either.

thankfully after her outbursts in ms.evans class, she was removed so the two don't share any classes anymore, how lucky is she?

but, cheryl soon realized that that luck had ran out once she noticed, her and toni take the same route to their classes, so every once and a while they have to cross paths.

cheryl avoids eye contact while toni doesn't even acknowledge her existence. she's typically too busy with her eyes closed and a laugh escaping those beautiful, rosy pink parted lips, walking with one of the pretty poisons beside her, her attention focused elsewhere and clearly _not_ on cheryl.

it breaks the redhead's heart a little knowing that, toni went from being focused only on cheryl, even when they were in a room full of people, to forgetting that the girl even still exists. but she doesn't blame her for falling out of love.

cheryl blossom can only been seen as a broken, selfish, emotional wreck, who could ever love her and why would they? she was crazy to believe she could ever find _real love_ in this vile world. 

the redhead has the book clutched in the palm of her hands, learning that perry's mother was an alcholic before she eventually abanonded her husband taking the kids with her, when something breaks her focus. 

"hey!" she hears veronica calls out, the redhead doesn't even flinch but.."toni!" her eyes quickly raise from her book and glance over to veronica who is jumping from her seat on the couch, rushing over to the doorway of the lounge.

cheryl knows this will be a bad idea but, curiosity gets the best of her. she swallows the lump in her throat before allowing her eyes to glance towards the door. 

there stands toni topaz. she's wearing a sheer black crop top, her pretty poisons jacket drapes across her shoulders, black jeans with very few rips in them and her plaid heeled combat boots.

a black choker with a hanging snake, ties across her neck. the top of her head is covered with a black beanie while the rest of her pink cascading waves fall onto her shoulders. 

she looks breath taking, cheryl can't take her eyes off of her. it's been a while since she has admired toni's beautiful features.

her heart thunders against her chest as she watches veronica stop in front of toni. they are standing in the hallway, sideways towards the doorway. 

betty watches from across the room, her eyes follow cheryl's, she notices as the red head's body tenses inside her seat. a bright smile plays against toni's pretty pink lips, her eyes meeting veronica's gaze.

cheryl sits on the couch taking in every movement, every glance, hell every word shared by the two. 

"here," veronica says breathlessly, she digs through her purse that is hanging on her shoulder. cheryl closes her book, sitting up in her seat. her eyebrow arches, her red stained lips purse into a frown. why would veronica be giving toni something? 

as she is digging through lipstick tubes, makeup kits and money, the redhead scoots forward, her heel taps against the floor, anticipating what the hell veronica lodge will pull from that magical bag of hers. she better be showing toni a magic trick or something, cheryl leans in closer expecting to see a bunnies's head poking out. 

after a few moments of digging, veronica pulls a purple flannel shirt from her purse and cheryl swears her heart falls to her feet. 

i..is that toni's? the taller girl's hazy brown eyes widen, her mouth flies open as she finally begins to process what is happening.

that's toni's shirt! the one she has worn oh so many times because toni fell in love with the way it looked upon cheryl's porcelain skin.

it's the same shirt toni has practically ripped from cheryl's creamy white shoulders many times before, sweat beaming from their foreheads as they breathe breathlessly into each other's mouths. 

the same flannel that has been used as a comfort blanket for cheryl, on nights where she couldn't have toni, she wrapped herself in her flannel, the scent of toni flooding the redhead's nose, giving her the sense of peace she needs in order to fall asleep. 

"you left this," veronica exhales heavily before continuing. "at the pembrooke last night," she hands the shirt to toni who accepts it eagerly.

"w..what did that b..raven haired bitch just say?" cheryl says, her eyes fixated on veronica and toni's interaction, she doesn't notice she's thinking out loud.

anger flaring in the pit of her stomach, the voices around her turns to mush as her thoughts take complete control over her. "oh," toni chuckles as she stares deeply into veronica's eyes. "i was looking for it. thanks ronnie," 

kevin is the first to acknowledge the shift in cheryl's mood. "what. what's going on?" he questions scooting closer in his seat. soon jughead is also seeing the rage building inside the redhead's body and eyes. 

what the hell was toni doing sleeping at the pembrooke? thoughts of her and veronica swapping saliva invades cheryl's mind, clouding her thinking, clouding her judgment. the thought of veronica's fingers tracing against toni's caramel brown thighs.

ugh, the way toni melts into her touch, the squeaking of the bed as they toss and turn, clothes falling carelessly onto the floor. oh god, she's going to be sick. she needs to leave. _now._

she removes the book from her lap, pushing it over to veronica's empty seat. she flings josie's legs out of her lap causing them to hit the couch, this results in a a reaction from josie. "hey," she whines breaking her conversation with archie.

she looks over at her friend, the darker girl's eyes wander down to cheryl's heals tapping anxiously against the wooden floor.

her leg jolting up and down, the redhead placing her the palm of her hand against her thigh, desperately trying to stop the movement but she fails miserably. her eyes begin to well with tears, she bites the corner of her quivering lip. 

"cheryl," josie says softly, she props herself up on the couch, ignoring whatever archie is still babbling on about, she scoots closer to her friend. 

"what's wrong?" her warm breath hits the inside of cheryl's ear. betty watches josie's attempts to talk to her fail, before she stands quickly on her feet and walks over to her cousin. 

cheryl's eyes never leaving toni's sight. "cheryl. calm down," betty whispers into her ear. she plants her hand upon cheryl's exposed shoulder, trying to bring comfort and ease her nerves, cheryl's head quickly whips around, she shoots her cousin a viscous glare before returning her eyes to the door. 

"what's going on?" she hears josie whisper to betty who responds by shrugging her shoulders, although she _does_ know what's going on, but betty also knows that if she says something, cheryl will murder her.

kevin watches as cheryl's leg only shakes faster, her heart only pounds faster against her chest, she digs her nails deeper into the skin of her thigh practically drawing blood. 

it was when cheryl saw veronica collect a few strands of those beautiful pink luscious locks, tucking them behind the shell of toni's ear, oh yea, that's when she fucking lost it. 

sadness, heart ache and anger washing over the red head like a fucking tidal wave. her head is spinning, it feels like her heart is going to jump out from her chest, she needs to leave.

she pushes herself from the couch, she scrapes the back of her hand against her plaid red skirt while trying to steady her balance, she feels as light as a feather, one wrong move and cheryl will tumble over. the redhead is seconds away from storming off, when she feels cold fingers wrap themselves around her wrist, causing her to come to halt. 

is veronica trying to get a fucking rise out of her? when the hell did veronica fucking lodge and toni become friends anyway, cause cheryl never got the me-

wait .. veronica was there that night. at ..at the speakeasy.. sh..she was singing a song with toni..she..she was far to-too close.

her arm was draped across toni's neck far too tight, their cheeks brushing against each other creating friction. veronica had a smug grin plastered across her lips, almost like she was trying to prove something but wh- oh my god.

it all makes sense now..toni wasn't drifting away because of cheryl. she was drifting into veronica's ar-

"let me go," the redhead barks, her voice shatters, sadness and anger interlaced between her words. her eyes still gazing at toni, her and veronica share a hug together before toni trots off into the hall with a wide grin playing against her lips. one of the widest grins cheryl has ever seen on her. 

"cheryl i need you to take a dee-," "let me go betty!" she turns so fast on her heels she gets whiplash.

everyone in the lounge stops their conversations to glance over at betty and cheryl who is trembling in her cousin's grasp. 

desperation and heart break flashing brightly behind her eyes liking some fucking head lights at night. betty's heart sinks to the pit of her stomach at the sight of her cousin's pain.

she wants her to open up and express her heart ache so betty can be a shoulder to cry on, but she knows there will be no chance of that. 

not after cheryl have allowed herself to be so vulnerable with toni, even after cheryl has _never_ been vulnerable before, with _anyone_ , only for her to break her heart for veronica. the red head will only push everyone who cares about her away, closing herself off from the world, closing her heart away, in fear of it being broken again. 

the blonde releases her grip. a tear trickles down cheryl's cheek before she can make it out the door, pushing past veronica.

"wh-what. my goodness, is it so hard to say excuse me?" veronica scoffs, folding her arms against her chest.

cheryl's heels clack together as she storms down the hall, tears burning her cheeks while her body feels like it has caught on fire. veronica spins on her heels, returning back to the room.

"hey. what's her prob-" she starts to say before her eyes glance around, taking in the confused and angry facial expressions resting upon all of her friend's faces.

"what?" betty closes her eyes, pinches her fingers against the skin between her forehead. kevin, archie and jughead shake their heads in disbelief. a sigh escapes josie's lips as she rolls her eyes at veronica's oblivion. 

the redhead yanks open the girl's lock room door, her heals scraping against the tiles as she drags her feet. she comes to a stop in the mirror above the sink.

the palm of her hands tightly gripping onto the sink, because cheryl's so light headed her knees might just give up on her and collapse. she watches the tears flood from her eyes like a waterfall. it doesn't make any sense, ho-how could she be so blind?

it was right under her nose the entire time. the late nights at la bonne nuit, the extra shifts toni was always so quick to pick up, even though her and cheryl has never experienced any issues with money. why else would toni spend so much of her time at that damn speakesy, if it wasn't for veronica fucking lodge. 

cheryl's vision becomes blurry, tears burning her cheeks as they fall freely. her head thuds against the cold tile wall, her body slouches down onto the floor. she pulls her knees under her trembling chin. her sobs get stuck in her throat as she gasps for air. 

god how could you be stupid enough to believe there was really someone out there that could love you. every part of you, not just the part that so desperately _begs_ for any source of validation because, lord knows you can't find it in yourself.

no, i mean the part of yourself that clings on to any and everything, the part that is so fucking needy that you savor even the tiniest form of attention, love, and affection, _regardless_ of who it's from. 

you have no sense of self worth so you settle for crumbs. you accept the bare fucking minimum, assuming it's all the world will ever have to offer you, so it must be what you deserve.

god, you can't possibly believe even someone as amazing, as perfect, hell someone who loves like her life fucking depends on it, you can't possibly believe someone like toni, a true god sent, would ever waste her any of her love on you, a broken soul that can't even love properly?

did you really believe that cheryl? if so, you _are_ delusional and your mother was right. you _are_ nothing but a _jealous, spiteful, starving, emotional anorexic._

she buries her head into her trembling knees. she screams into them hoping her cries will erase some of the pain that stains her heart, but it doesn't.

no matter how loud she screams or how long she cries, she still has to accept the fact that the love of her life is gone.

she has fallen into the arms of another, someone who can love her properly, the way she _deserves_ to be loved. her love for the redhead has run out, there is no more space for her in toni's heart..not anymore.

there is no more choni...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the whole disney movie part was unnecessary, but hey i couldn't resist it. i'm a sucker for animation movies
> 
> especially inside out? oh yea that's a classic. who's your friend that likes to play? bing bong, bing bong.
> 
> his rocket makes you yell hooray! bing bong, bing bong. oh my god i'm so lame☠️
> 
> lmao but anyway, i don't really have a schedule for when i will post new chapters
> 
> i'm working on a different fanfic and unfortunately i'm in school so most of the time i'm in class 
> 
> so, i'll just try to post whenever i can. hopefully, you guys can understand
> 
> until we meet again ;)


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